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An honest letter to wives on Valentine's Day


Handwritten letter

 

Dear fellow wife,


With Valentine's Day being next week, let's talk about marriage.


If you're like me, you grew up watching retellings of popular fairytales by a certain media company, and fell in love with the idea of love. Because these movies were created in the late 80s and throughout the 90s, we witnessed the strong, independent, and beautiful princess fall for a powerful prince.


Of course he fell in love with her because of her strength & beauty ( & in some cases her valiance), while she fell in love with him because of how he made her feel.


And that's really what I want to talk about today.


Are you the type of princess to only show love to your prince when he makes you feel a certain way?


To be clear, I'm not saying that your husband shouldn't be actively wooing you after your wedding day. He absolutely should!


But we need to engage our husbands, even when they are distracted or stressed-

actually especially when they are distracted or stressed!


This can be done by flirting, preparing something special for them, and/or praising them for their virtues.


Giving him this loving and affectionate attention gives him the validation and reassurance that a man requires to keep pressing forward during challenges, and fuels his own desire to continue to woo you in the way you desire to be wooed.


This is something I’ve only learned within the past year or so, and it has completely changed the environment of our home.


Now, don't expect to just do this once or twice and get a lifetime of reward. You have to do this consistently and intentionally, not just for the reward, but for a healthy marriage, which requires the constant death of your own desires for the sake of your beloved.


And that is really what Valentine's Day is about. Saint Valentine, the reason and namesake for Valentine's Day, is the patron saint of happy marriages, due to his devotion to marrying young couples in the Christian rite of Matrimony, which was not only illegal in Rome in the 3rd century in which Saint Valentine lived, but it carried a horrific death sentence with it (imagine being beaten by clubs and then beheaded).


Saint Valentine was devoted to marriage because the Sacrament of marriage is more than just the recognition of a couple's affection for each other. He was devoted to the Sacrament because of what it represents: Christ's Passion, His total sacrifice for His Bride, the Church (you and me).


If you are a Christian woman, you must remain faithful to Christ & love your husband with the understanding that he must imitate Christ by giving up his life for you.


This will give you purpose as you carry your sanctifying cross of giving your love &

affection - even when your husband is seemingly inattentive or distant. It is

your cross to rein him in with the love and beauty only a wife can provide - and not just when you "feel like it".


It only takes a little death to self.


Saint Valentine, patron of happy marriages, pray for us.


Your fellow wife, Elizabeth


 


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